Infertility is estimated to affect 8-9% of males and about 15% of couples in Australia.
It’s generally accepted that for those couples who are infertile:
- In about 1 in 5 cases, male infertility alone is the cause
- In about 1 in 3 cases, female infertility is the cause
- In more than 1 in 3 cases, both male and female factors are involved.
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Just like Mother’s Day, Father’s Day can be sad, complex, and distressing for those who are trying to achieve a pregnancy in the hopes to becoming a dad.
It can be a day when the grief of pregnancy loss feels extra tough.
It can be one of those days where the celebrations or family expectations just feel too much and too hard and a day where men just are not sure of how to feel or what to do.
Male partners can sometimes feel overlooked in the fertility journey. They can feel isolated, helpless, and unable to help their partner.
However, where male factor infertility is an issue, they then may sometimes feel shame and stigma or find themselves carrying a heavy weight (incorrectly) of self-blame.
We are all different.
Some men feel comfortable with sharing their feelings and emotions, but many don’t.
Being brave and strong, is asking for support or sharing your story with someone you trust.
Boys and men do cry. Guys, this Father’s Day if you need to, make space for yourself to be vulnerable.
For the female partners out there, tame the inner critic – eg “he’d be better off without me because I haven’t been able to become pregnant,” “He’d make a great dad, I’m stopping this from happening”….. This is a good reminder for you both that fertility and journeying through infertility treatment is and should be a shared experience, even though you each have different roles at different times throughout the journey.
Finally – Say NO to anything you feel you ‘should do’ this weekend. Come up with something YOU WANT to do….
- Stay home, Netflix and Chill (wink emoji)
- Do something fun and spontaneous with your partner – what did you use to do and haven’t done for ages?
- Cook a new recipe together for dinner.
- Go out to lunch or dinner.
A final note – On Father’s Day for those yet to become a father and for those who have endured the loss of pregnancy and impending fatherhood – this day can still be a celebration for you too. We celebrate you for your strength, for your support, for your courage and positivity, for your love and guidance, and for everything you do!
Fertility SA Counselling Service: For information via our website, click here
Mensline – For free confidential24 hour telephone support call 1300 78 99 78 or visit mensline.org.au