Mothers Day its everywhere isn’t it!
It’s in the online shopping sales marketing emails, it’s on TV and Radio advertisements almost as much as the upcoming election campaign! It’s in the supermarkets, florists, restaurants you name it it’s hard to miss. For those struggling with fertility it has been described as one of those most dreaded and painful of the year.
I’ve spoken to a lot of our patients recently about how much mother’s day advertising in the lead up to the actual day can be just as distressing as the day itself when you are navigating the complexities of fertility treatment and hopes to have a child. This combined with a sense of pressure from family about celebrations for mother’s day and expectations about how you should be attending family gatherings can take a toll.
We here at fertility SA are hoping to support YOU and YOUR journey in every way in order for you to be able to celebrate this day as we know YOU want to.
We recognise how difficult it can be however when you are still working towards the hopes of motherhood.
In the lead up if you are feeling overwhelmed with all the marketing try to take the opportunity to acknowledge this to yourself, your partner and others. Try to pause and take some mindful moments to acknowledge your sadness, the grief and the losses you have encountered along the way. Marvel in what your body and mind has had the strength to undergo so far in the hopes of achieving your dreams of motherhood. Thank your body for being so resilient and strong throughout and how even in the most difficult of times you’ve had the resilience to make the next plan. Let the tears flow if they come, and above all have compassion for yourself if the twinges of anger and envy show up.
Say No, if you are putting pressure on yourself or you feel pressure from others to attend a celebration, remember there are no ‘shoulds’.
You may want to say to those who may not understand, “ I find this day difficult right now and I/we need to have a self-care day”.
You can still love, respect and cherish your mothers in a way that feels rights for you this may be a call, sending flowers, sending an invitation for a lunch date or a movie together on another day.
Above all else spoil yourself on this day, do what brings you joy because you too deserve this just as much.
When you actually reflect on it, this is a day that is ultimately about celebrating the women who sacrifice everything for their children and you too are sacrificing everything to achieve this dream.
Brooke- Fertility Counsellor
PS If you feel you would like support remember the counselling service at Fertility SA is available free of charge, please call us if you would like an appointment.